I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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