he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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