and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
