Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
