Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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