I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
A bitchslap is in order.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
