OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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