the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
