Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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