Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize