That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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