What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
