South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
