you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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