...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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