fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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