69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I wear drunk well.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize