I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
