I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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