So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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