Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Who died my cat blue again?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
