Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
