God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize