Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I forget how to act sober
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
