I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
