i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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