Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
