I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
