sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
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I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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