There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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