I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I am available for nakedness
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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