Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
