i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
