I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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