can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize