This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
