He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
