operation harelip BJ is a go
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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