That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
