I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.