He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches