just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.