i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.