Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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