there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
