i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
