We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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