we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
