The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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