I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
