This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
