how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
