Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
