Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
