I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i believe in u and ur pee
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize