idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
