I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize