If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You are the jesus of drinking
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
