i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
