He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
