NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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