Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
