I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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