Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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