forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
